November 24, 2015

I Reached Dietary Ecstasy Through a Juice Cleanse

Giving your body a holiday and drinking green juice for three days solid has it's benefits

  • Written by Samira Larouci
  • Photography by Ana Cuba

As someone who did a fairly long stint living in LA, I clung on to my European penchant for unhealthy living quite heavily, I loved smoking on patios self-righteously, as people sipping Matcha tea and green juices looked on disapprovingly. I never quite got the juice thing. Who the fuck would want to pass on truffle and parmesan fires and sip on Spirulina instead ?

Recently after one hangover too many, I decided to give health a go, quit smoking (vaping doesn’t count right?), in favour of natural highs and get my body to a point where it just felt good all by itself. (A year ago I would’ve laughed at myself too.)

“Juice fasts promise increased productivity by day one, a euphoric spiritual high by day two, and increased libido by day three”

After being handed alkalising my diet (eating no acid inducing food like meat and dairy) I wanted to push myself to the next level and try one of these elusive ‘three day juice cleanses’. The kind that’s in Grazia mag, that you’d cringe over if you heard someone say they were actually doing. But what really pushed me was when I’d read about the spiritual benefits of a juice fast, how they promise increased productivity by day one, a euphoric spiritual high by day two, and increased libido by day three.

The world of juice cleansing is saturated and opaque. From cold pressed and raw, to your straight up pressed orange juice: juice cleanses vary heavily. Some London companies like The Juice Well, offer a more friendly and approachable option: their ‘Rainbow cleanse’ is full of multi-coloured fruit juices. Then there’s Imbibery and Raw & Juicy—proudly London’s first cold press brand—who send three day’s worth of juices straight to your door, packed with little daytime pick me ups like lemon concentrate and turmeric water. These are like little friends holding your hand between meals. Then there’s the straight up, no bullshit ‘Green Level Three’ cleanse by Radiance Cleanse. It consists of six juices per day, varying in intensities, from one to six, and no friendly little pick-you-ups – it’s just you and the green juice.


The beginning of a cleanse is the most exciting part, but also the most psychologically warped. My mind started playing tricks on me – I literally could not stop thinking about solid food. Constantly. I fetishized it. It took on a whole new identity. I would obsess about food I never even eat, like shortbread and carrot batons.

Then came moments of hysteria on day one, like when I jumped off the bus halfway home and ran into a corner shop and literally broke a banana in half and devoured it whole, handing over the limp skin to the discerning cashier and ran out ashamed.

“The beginning of a cleanse is the most exciting part, but also the most psychologically warped”

On day two there was an element of euphoria. Without having to occupy most of my day thinking about food, I actually felt super productive, my moods increased and overall I felt great. Dietary ecstasy? Actually kind of, I was buzzing–not gurning-worthy buzzing but nonetheless, I felt high. I wanted this new, light, productive me to last forever, but not at the cost of peeing six times an hour, every hour, including when I should be sleeping. That got boring real quick.

They say fasting lets the body take a vacation. The amount of energy it takes to digest complex food means our bodies can’t concentrate on crucial things like detoxing its vital organs and giving our digestive system—also known as the body’s second brain—a rest. From my experience, undergoing a juice cleanse is a good catalyst for psychological change – towards your eating habits more than anything.

However, fasting once a week is far from sustainable for prolonged periods of time; most people end up binging after a cleanse and eating more than they did in the first place. During a cleanse, an inner conflict presents itself; you find yourself demonising solid food to a point of feeling guilty, then fetishizing it to a point of total adoration; the taboo becomes the ultimate temptation.

“I wanted this new, light, productive me to last forever, but not at the cost of peeing six times an hour”

When in actual fact you can achieve this sense of nutritional nirvana without going to such extremes. Simply by avoiding highly acidic foods (basically anything beige is bad and anything colourful like fruit and vegetables is good) and integrating supplements in to your diet – like Moringa Oleifera, (green powder made from the leaves of an African ‘miracle’ tree). It’s the most nutrient dense plant on the planet. And it’s become a bit of an obsession of mine lately: not only does it fight off over twenty different potential diseases in the body, it’s cheaper than doing a juice cleanse.

I’ve been passing Moringa Oleifera on to friends like a jumped up health conscious Jim Jones. One of the more notable side effects is the elusive increased libido and mood-enhancing high; proven. As I scroll through PornHub, I’ve got my Moringa, Spinach, and beetroot juice sat proudly on my bedside table.


  • Cooke George

    Your source for the “african miracle tree” quotes Dr Oz. I cant believe Vice would promote this sort of quackery.

  • rowanb

    Generally, people are so in the dark about what constitutes good health. A 3 day juice fast is going to make almost zero long term difference to ones health, and if the vegetables you use are caked in pesticides OR you use any fruit, you are actually worsening your health.
    I have been working with some of the worlds top doctors, and have discovered that pretty much all of us are loaded with industrial pollutants. Mine included DDT(banned before i was born), flame retardants (new furniture and plane seats), PCB’s(the most common chemical in the environment), 3 types of pesticides..and the list goes on.
    If people are wondering whats causing the massive increase in cancer rates, then here is your answer. I have seen other peoples tests (fat cell tests done by acumen labs in tiverton, UK) and its not a pretty picture. I have also met other patients at the treatment rooms, who have various serious conditions like cancer and parkinsons, who also discovered they are loaded with a cocktail of industrial chemicals.
    These pollutants are only one layer to our health. Others include mineral and vitamin levels( soil is very deficient compared to 200 years ago, plus our diets consist of processed and fake foods), genetic mutations known as SNP’s, which happen in our lifetime and are passed on, although not in the darwinian sense as such.
    Levels of Gut flora are also crucial to good health. Most peoples have been nuked by antibiotics, bad living, drugs, poor diets etc etc, which allows the parasites and ‘bad’ bacteria to thrive. Our stomach is our second brain, and its state dictates much of our health.
    I could go on and on, and one day, this will all be common knowledge..however, no doubt the people like Cooke below will come out in force denying all this because of what they see on TV and read in mainstream newspapers. More fool them is all i have to say.
    Back to the article, in brief, thinking you are sorting yourself out by doing a 3 day juice fast once in blue moon is yet another common delusion connected to health and wellbeing.
    People are getting sicker younger, cancer rates are soaring, anti bionics don’t work very much anymore, resistant bacteria and virus and thriving. All of this points to a kind of natural culling of the human population forthcoming. ..as depressing as it sounds.
    A combination of ignorance amongst a deluded population, and destructive ‘business’ practices are to blame. A good example of this is Glyphosate. It stays around 500 years and slowly kills all it comes into contact with. Its been found in over 80% of water ways.
    Believe me or not, i don’t care who believes me, as i know its true. It was shocking at first, but perhaps its the way the planet takes care of its infestation of destructive humans…although i doubt the elite will die off like the rest of us, they have always had clean water and food supplies .

    • Linda

      You lost me at fruit is bad for your health.

      • rowanb

        fruit is fine if you consume the fibre, as nature intended it to be consumed. however, once juice, you loose the fibre and get too much fructose, which is not healthful.

      • rowanb

        are you aware of diabetes and what causes it? fruit is part of the puzzle, but if you don’t believe me, do i care?

        • Linda

          I don’t know, do you? You seem to have taken the time to respond…

    • Kakistocrat

      You forgot chemtrails.

    • conservativemind12

      You do sound a little tin hatty to me, I’m sure the body is capable of taking more abuse than you give it credit.

      Plus all you have done is denigrate without giving a positive spin or your own healthy recommendations, which imo makes you a bit of douche nozzle.

      • rowanb

        You sound like a torygraph reading city bell-whiff who goes to spearmint rhinos at weekends, watches strictly come dancing, and has about as much personality as fred west.

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